"Ten Commandments" for the Education of Children - Part VII
Here is the “Seventh Commandment for the Education of Children” from a homily by Msgr. João Scognamiglio Clá Dias, with an excerpt from Msgr. João’s biography of Dona Lucilia that highlights an example of this commandment taken to its plenitude and a video from the book study to illustrate the principle further. For the first six commandments visit the blog index:
Never deceive your children to get out of a tight situation. Therefore, you should not mislead your children in order to manipulate them. When children discover that something is a cover-up, the good image the boy or girl has of their parents suffers a blow.
Honesty and care with words—Rooted in Love of God
She prefers to see him dead than gone astray
Dona Lucilia’s deepest concerns touched on the paths that her children would choose in life—the good or bad use they would make of their free will. As they grew older, her role became increasingly limited to encouraging their good tendencies and stimulating their hatred for evil.
She would often say to Plinio: “My son, the times are very evil and you are very young. It is unthinkable what a person will stoop to if he goes astray. I want you to know that I would rather see you dead than gone astray.”
These weighty words show that Dona Lucilia’s loving affection for her children was rooted entirely in love of God. She would consider
the loss of their earthly lives a small sacrifice compared with seeing them deprived of eternal life.
Msgr. João Scognamiglio Clá Dias, Dona Lucilia, p. 232
Affectionate and wise counsel
Whenever it was needed, Dona Lucilia always had an appropriate word to clarify a situation or dispel a doubt. As time passed, she began to let her children handle problems on their own, her corrections gradually giving way to recommendations, which she knew better than anyone else how to give. Because of the high degree of moral perfection that she desired for them, she was moved to counsel them with words pervaded with affection and wisdom.
Her psychological insight made her highly observant and an excellent counsellor. Discreetly attentive to whatever was discussed in her presence she was gifted with a moral sense that enabled her to discern the nuances of good and evil in her surroundings. Her discernment was especially keen in matters related to the Ten Commandments, to dignity, and to propriety.
In practical matters, she refrained from giving untimely advice, limiting herself to an occasional suggestion. If she voiced an opinion about someone’s conduct or passed judgement on a situation, she made it clear that she did so because she felt that the point had not been duly considered.
When alerting one of her children, she might say: “Listen. About such a person or such a situation, your mother thinks that…”
She always spent some time of reflection before pronouncing a cautionary word about a defect or bad intention that she noted in someone. Moreover, she never gave such advice in the presence of a third party.
Msgr. João Scognamiglio Clá Dias, Dona Lucilia, p. 265
As the "Seventh Commandment" highlights, maintaining the admiration and respect of children is vital in families! See the video below for help in this regard.
To be continued…
Some of the above article was unofficially translated from: https://arautosfamilia.com/decalogo-educacao-filhos/
About the Article: Many Saints and also many Popes in the history of the Church have dedicated themselves to writing some points to help parents educate their children. The founder of the Heralds of the Gospel, Msgr. João Scognamiglio Clá Dias, made a summary of some of these points in a homily, calling them a decalogue for the education of children, as they contain some of the principle points for the good education of children.